


I Think I Love You?

by mayfield84



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: 1986, Accidental Confession, F/M, Fluff, I Love You, Love, post-season 3, pure fluff, slight angst, this is sickeningly sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayfield84/pseuds/mayfield84
Summary: His parents always told him to be careful, to prioritize himself and to protect his heart. Do that, and he would be fine. He could make it through high school.Well he’s made it through half and he’s sick of being guarded.Because they also told him to be brave– to not fear rejection because rejection will happen a lot to boys like him and if you let it get you down he would be down forever.So yeah, Lucas thinks he loves Max.What of it?(aka: lumax says i love you for the first time)





	I Think I Love You?

**Author's Note:**

> i hadn’t planned on writing this but it just kind of happened. i hope you enjoy!

_ ** love ** _

_ /ləv/ _

_ noun _

_ 1\. an intense feeling of deep affection. _

Is that what Lucas felt?

Was that the burning glow that sucked the air out of his lungs when she smiled at him?

Was it how his chest swelled with pride and affection whenever he saw her?

Was love the way his mind echoed thoughts of her for hours on end?

Perhaps the word seemed too serious for a teenage boy. He had only been alive for sixteen years, after all. How the hell would he know what love is?

Love is _Maxine Mayfield_, that’s how.

Love is the way her face buries in his chest whenever they hug; it’s how she grabs his hand when she’s nervous or cold or scared or excited; it’s in the way her laugh bubbles up deep from her gut, sweet and genuine; it is every time she calls him “Stalker” or playfully punches his arm; it’s the way she dozes lightly on him when they cuddle.

The way she resists countless people subtly (_and some not so_) telling her she deserves better than _that_ kind of person.

It’s just the way that she is–

And Lucas loves her for that.

Wait, loves? No. Likes. He _likes_ her for that.

A lot. 

His parents always told him to be careful, to prioritize himself and to protect his heart. Do that, and he would be fine. He could make it through high school.

Well he’s made it through half and he’s sick of being guarded. 

Because they also told him to be brave– to not fear rejection because rejection will happen a lot to boys like him and if you let it get you down he would be down forever.

So yeah, Lucas thinks he loves Max.

What of it?

Actually, a lot of it. It’s kind of a big deal.

But he would never tell her. Not until he was _entirely sure_ she was ready to hear it.

And when would that be?

Max wasn’t sure either.

In fact, she hadn’t believed in love for a majority of her life.

At the beginning, of course, she did, a little. Most girls grow up on stories of Cinderella and Aurora and Snow White and while she loved them, little Max was always confused about how the couples could be so sure of each other when they had just met. At least they lived happily ever after.

But then, Mommy and Daddy started fighting, and the illusion of true love faded. 

It was when Daddy moved out little Max swore off love altogether. She _never_ wanted to cry as much as Mommy did because of _dumb love_ and _stupid marriage_.

When Neil came into their lives Max had a little hope again. But he was worse– way worse. He brought Billy with him and they were both mean and Max was sure neither of them were actually capable of love.

_“They’re family now, Maxine,” Mommy would say._

_“It’s Max, Mommy. And they’ll never be our real family because... families are supposed to love you, and I don’t think they love me,” she would always reply, much to Susan’s dismay._

But she wasn’t wrong. Billy and Neil never really cared for her, not in the way she wanted a family to.

And yeah, she might not have grown up with the familial support she secretly longed for, but perhaps Max would have had a better outlook on love itself had she seen successful relationships later on.

Especially when Billy started bringing girls home– and she had to learn all too early what ‘happy screams’ were. They weren’t love, that was for sure.

Another example of love that Max didn’t believe in?

Mike and El.

That wasn’t love; it was _infatuation_.

Mike had been the first person her age to show El any sort of kindness, and she just seemed to latch onto him like he was the only person in the world that would. El was never given time to discover who she was before Mike _became_ who she was. 

That made Max sad for a long time; the brunette was so occupied with Mike she didn’t make an effort with anyone else, particularly a certain redhead that would have loved to be her friend.

And eventually, the moment Mike did something to upset El, Max felt the need to protect her, in her own way.

This girl needed some time alone to learn who she was– not who Mike was, not who Hopper was, not who Brenner wanted her to be. And Max was glad to provide El that freedom no matter how much of Mike’s patience with her it cost.

Okay, yes, it might have been a _little_ far to use El’s powers to spy on the boys, but it was her idea! Plus, they were only fourteen; they didn’t know anything back then.

Either way, after Will and El moved, it only took a few weeks for her and Mike to break up again, for good this time. The redhead supposed they lacked a real connection without being able to stick their tongues down each other’s throats.

They weren’t friends first, so it only figures their relationship wouldn’t last.

Also, it didn’t go unnoticed by Max how often she caught Will staring at Mike with longing eyes, or how often Mike would reach down and give Will’s hand the occasional reassuring squeeze whenever he looked nervous.

She supposed their love could last longer, because who wouldn’t want to build a relationship on a lifetime of friendship?

And Max really, really hoped Mike loved him back in the same way she loved Lucas.

Wait, loved? No. _Liked_.

Not love.

Love is not only stupid but painful, and unattainable, especially for a girl that grew up without any.

It angered her to think that someone was changing her mind on that without even _trying_. She and Lucas have never had the ‘love discussion’ before, if that was even a thing, but she thought it was pretty clear how she felt about love.

But her wide smile and loud heartbeat made it pretty clear how she felt about Lucas, too.

Max just hoped neither of them would say it before they were ready. Before _she_ was ready.

Maybe there was no way to be ready for it. Is anyone ever really ready for the shared burdens, conjoined delight, and mutual prosperity? That sounded pretty heavy for a sixteen year-old, but that also sounded heavy for a thirty year-old.

Maybe nobody is ever really ready for love and all of its responsibilities, and in order to learn how to love, you just have to jump in head first.

And Max, sadly, had to learn that the hard way, starting on the night of December 19th, 1986. It was cold and wintry– no different from any other Hawkins December day– and Max needed an escape from the loveless household of Susan and Neil. So, where did she choose to go?

Lucas’ house, of course.

The only problem was his house was nearly mile away and this particular December night reached a low temperature of 23 degrees Fahrenheit, and though Max did not plan on freezing to death, she considered it a likely possibility as she walked to his house.

She had considered skating but the chance of slipping on ice was too high for her liking.

And it would have been okay, minus her numb fingers and stinging nose, had it not started snowing. But _of course_ it did.

“Holy shit,” she breathed, shivering even in her heavy winter coat.

There was a small part of Max that considered her walk serene; the filtered moonlight casting a faint glow through the clouds, the occasional streetlamp illuminating the soft flurries of snow, the crunch of ice underfoot, the way her warm breath stirred the frigid air. But most of her was focused on making it to her destination as quickly as possible because the sooner she got there, the happier she would be.

It ended up taking her almost twenty minutes to reach Lucas’ window. It wasn’t open, but his curtain was drawn and his lights were on, and she saw him sitting at his desk reading a book.

Max knocked on the window gently to get his attention. His head perked up and he saw her, his eyes wide.

“Max? What the hell are you doing?” Lucas asked after he had opened his window to let her inside.

She climbed in and shuddered in the relieving warm air. “I wanted to see you,” the redhead replied, shrugging off her coat and gloves.

“You’ve done a lot of dumb things before but this was _really_ stupid,” Lucas retorted.

“Stupid? Why is it stupid?” Max demanded, kicking off her snowy shoes and wrapping her arms around her torso tightly, both from the cold and in defense. She was shocked. Lucas was always, always welcoming to her; never before had he called her stupid for coming over.

“Because, you could have gotten hurt,” he answered sharply and put his hands on her shoulders.

She shrank away from his touch. “I’m fine, Stalker, I can take care of myself,” she insisted.

“But sometimes, you can’t. What would have happened if you slipped on ice and got hurt?” Lucas suggested flagrantly. Max opened her mouth to reply, but her boyfriend cut her off. “What would have happened if the gate opened up and you were trapped in the Upside Down?”

“Nothing has happened for over two years, Lucas, of something hasn’t happened again by now, it won’t ever again,”” Max felt tears forming in her eyes, and she wasn’t sure whether they were from anger, disappointment, or fear.

“You can never be too careful, remember? We’ve been over this! Max, I know you’re a strong, independent female or whatever, but sometimes it’s _okay_ to reach out. At least let me know next time or something, have some common sense,” Lucas argued. His hands balled into fists as his side.

Max wiped at her eyes with her long sleeves pulled down over her hands before any real tears could spill. “Well I made it here safe, right? Now can we please drop this?”

“No, Max, because what if you hadn’t? Maybe next time, you won’t be so lucky,” Lucas said. 

“I don’t understand why you’re getting so worked up over this,” Max replied, matching his level of anger.

“Because_ I love you _Max, that’s why! If anything happened to you I wouldn’t know what to do with myself!”

Silence.

Long, _heavy_ silence.

“Y-You... _love_ me?” Max asked tentatively, her blue eyes wide.

“No, that’s not what I meant... well, I mean I _do_, at least I _think_ I do, but I didn’t want to... shit, Max, I’m sorry,” Lucas put his head in his hands and sat down on the edge of his bed, defeated.

Another long silence as both of their minds raced as fast as their heartbeats.

“I don’t know what to say,” Max stated, sitting down next to him. Their knees touched slightly.

“You don’t have to say it back, I was just–“

“No, but I think I do, because... well, I think I love you too, Stalker,” Max began. She stared at their feet. “I’m just _scared_.”

“Scared? Why?” Lucas turned to her in confusion.

“Because, every ‘_love_,’” she put in quotation marks, “I’ve ever seen has failed: my mom and dad, Susan and Neil, Mike and El, even poor Will. I don’t want that to happen to us,” Max felt more tears forming but she quickly wiped them away before her boyfriend could see. “Plus, I’m not sure what love even feels like.”

“Max,” Lucas took her cold hands into his, “my parents tell me all the time to be brave, and they have the strongest love of anyone I know,” he explained. “And I trust them. They also told me to prioritize myself and protect my heart, but I’ve slowly been realizing that I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to prioritize _you_, to protect _you_, because when you’re not safe or you’re not happy, I don’t feel right.”

“Stalker, I-“

“Hold on, I’m not done yet,” Lucas gave her hands a squeeze and she laughed softly in response. That was a good sign, at least.

“Sorry, go ahead,” Max smiled at him.

“I guess all I want to say is, well, Max, I love you,” Lucas told her earnestly.

In a wordless reply the redhead turned and brought their lips together in a deep kiss– one that was so sweet and so full and so _different_ than any other kiss they had shared before. Her hands wrapped around his neck while he had one cupping her cheek and the other on her waist.

It came as a shock to Max, but every problem she had sworn off with love had melted away at his words. The kiss was her gesture to return the phrase.

But after it was over, a force compelled her to do something she had never considered herself doing before.

“I... I love you too, Stalker,” the words seemed to roll off her tongue awkwardly, much less naturally than Lucas’, but still genuine nonetheless.

They kissed again, with just as much magic as before.

“Does this mean every time you stay over I get to sleep in the bed with you?” Lucas teased after they had separated, his arm slipping around her waist.

“Hmm, as if you don’t already,” Max planted a sweet kiss on his cheek.

He wrapped his arms around her fully and brought her into a tight hug, and the rest of the world seemed to melt away.

It was just the two of them, from there on out. Sure, the Party would always be important to them and they will always hang out with their friends, but they were in love now, and that meant more than anything.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> feel free to leave a comment or even prompts- the more i get the more i write c:


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